What Really Happened With the Tortoise and the Hare?
I’m back with another hard-hitting investigation. Last time, I exposed this very platform. But this time, I went even bigger. Today, I hope to bring you the truth about the tale of the tortoise and the hare. You may have heard about this growing up, but how much do we really know? The whole thing just seemed too convenient to me. As a curious kid, I also felt there was more to this story. It seemed too good to be true. A tortoise beating a hare in a race? And all because he was slow and steady? Something just doesn’t add up here. Through extensive research and investigation over the last few months, I’ve met some of the people and animals who witnessed this race. They also talked to me about what they saw and heard afterward. To help me with the digging, I asked the moles to help. Because who’s better at digging than moles Sadly, the moles who witnessed the race have now passed away. But I was able to chat with their great-grandchildren, who have had the real story passed down to them. They explained that the moles in attendance could smell bullshit right from the start. They could also smell cocaine in the tortoise’s bag. That’s right: cold, hard drugs right off the bat. If you thought there was no way a tortoise could beat a hare in a race, you’d be right. Anyone who thinks otherwise is stupidly naive… or a kid. I can’t believe how well this investigation was going, just from talking to one source. How is it that none of the adults knew this when they were telling us about this event? Or maybe… they did know.
0 Comments